Self-discrepancy theory
Self-discrepancy theory is a big and fancy idea that helps people understand why they might feel bad about themselves sometimes.
You know how sometimes you feel like you should be a certain way or do certain things, but you just can't seem to do them? Maybe you feel like you should do more homework or eat more vegetables, but you just don't feel like it.
Other times, you might feel like someone is telling you to be a certain way, but that's not really who you are. Maybe someone tells you that you are supposed to be good at sports, but you don't really like sports.
Self-discrepancy theory basically says that there are three different kinds of "you" that can be in a disagreement with each other:
- The actual you: This is who you really are, the way you act and feel right now.
- The ideal you: This is who you want to be, or who you think other people want you to be. It's like a picture in your head of the perfect you.
- The ought you: This is who you think you should be, based on the rules and expectations you've learned from your family, your culture, or your society.
When these three different versions of "you" don't match up, it can make you feel bad.
For example, if you are the actual you and you really like video games, but your ideal you is someone who is always working hard and never plays video games, you might feel bad about yourself for playing too many video games.
Or, if you think you ought to be really good at math, but you struggle with it, you might feel bad about yourself because you're not living up to what you think you should be.
Self-discrepancy theory helps people understand that it's okay to be who they are, even if it doesn't match up with what they think they should be or what other people expect them to be. It's important to accept yourself for who you are, be kind to yourself, and understand that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.
You know how sometimes you feel like you should be a certain way or do certain things, but you just can't seem to do them? Maybe you feel like you should do more homework or eat more vegetables, but you just don't feel like it.
Other times, you might feel like someone is telling you to be a certain way, but that's not really who you are. Maybe someone tells you that you are supposed to be good at sports, but you don't really like sports.
Self-discrepancy theory basically says that there are three different kinds of "you" that can be in a disagreement with each other:
- The actual you: This is who you really are, the way you act and feel right now.
- The ideal you: This is who you want to be, or who you think other people want you to be. It's like a picture in your head of the perfect you.
- The ought you: This is who you think you should be, based on the rules and expectations you've learned from your family, your culture, or your society.
When these three different versions of "you" don't match up, it can make you feel bad.
For example, if you are the actual you and you really like video games, but your ideal you is someone who is always working hard and never plays video games, you might feel bad about yourself for playing too many video games.
Or, if you think you ought to be really good at math, but you struggle with it, you might feel bad about yourself because you're not living up to what you think you should be.
Self-discrepancy theory helps people understand that it's okay to be who they are, even if it doesn't match up with what they think they should be or what other people expect them to be. It's important to accept yourself for who you are, be kind to yourself, and understand that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.