Imagine playing a game of tag with your friends. If you get tagged, it means you lost. But sometimes, you can just keep playing and maybe even win in the end.
But a total and unmitigated defeat is different. It means you lost really, really badly. It means the other team tagged you over and over again, and you couldn't tag anyone back. It means no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't win.
Think of it like a final exam. Sometimes you might get a bad grade, like a C or a D, but you still pass the class. But a total and unmitigated defeat would mean you got a really, really low grade, like a F, and you failed the class completely.
So when people say something was a total and unmitigated defeat, they mean it was a really bad loss where there was no chance of winning or making it better.